All You Can Eat
Whether you’re ready or not, Steel Panther are back with a brand new studio album. The comedic head bangers have released their third studio album, All You Can Eat. Like their first two albums, Steel Panther deliver the goods with catchy hooks 1980s style while still managing to be funny. Though their humor is very explicit, Steel Panther have found their audience within the last couple of years.
The album opens with a surprisingly thrash metal sounding “Pussywhipped”. Guitarist Satchel opens the track with a small acoustic instrumental bit before the band gets down and dirty. It’s a monster of a track, with Metallica-like drumming. The lyrics warn fellow male listeners, as their “balls don’t have a chance.” This is followed by “Party Like Tomorrow Is The End of the World”, the lead single off the album. The song is a typical “party-hardy” glam metal track that suggests to “bone your step sister” or even “don't worry ‘bout the HIV” as the end is near.
While the band are trying to be funny, this does not stop them from creating/composing actual music. “Bukkake Tears” is an example of this: it has a very melodic feel and sounds pretty at times. The lyrics and subject matter, however, are gross (if you don’t know get the song title, you’ll find out by the end of the song). Another example is “F*cking My Heart In The Ass”: the chorus is catchy but the same can’t be said about the lyrics (although not as bad as “Bukkake Tears”). The band can certainly chug out some heavy tunes. The opening for “Gloryhole” is downright heavy while the Van Halen guitar work on “Ten Strikes You’re Out” is impressive.
Steel Panther can be very funny, though you have to be in the right mood to fully appreciate the jokes. “Gangbang at the Old Folks Home” tells an outrageous story of a pizza delivery gone wrong (“These golden girls have been around the block/I got a rim job from one while knitting some socks”) while “B.V.S.” warns listeners to avoid the titular latest disease (apparently meaning Big Vagina Syndrome). The album’s closer, “She’s On the Rag”, is simply flat-out hilarious hard rocker about how much periods suck.
My favorite song from the album, however, is “The Burden of Being Wonderful.” The song sounds similar to Def Leppard’s “Hysteria”, given the string section featured. In the song, singer Michael Starr wonders why he’s so beautiful when everyone else isn’t. “I’m just a Maserati in a world of Kias” sings Starr. “Genius would describe any of my ideas.” This is an impressive song coming from Steel Panther overall for one particular reason: there aren’t any dirty jokes.
All You Can Eat is simply a good album. I think people who were fans of the glam metal scene of the 1980s will get a kick out of this album. However, Steel Panther isn’t for everyone. As mentioned before, Steel Panther’s humor is explicit. Those who are easily offended by this humor are best off not listening to them. As for everyone else, feel free to explore the world of Steel Panther.